When my dad died I was compelled to write this memoir. A mixture of emotions surfaced; there was sadness but I was mostly relieved that he couldn’t hurt me anymore. This book describes the life-long abuse I suffered, which resulted in a never ending search to find myself. His punishments are as vivid and painful today as they were sixty years ago. The impacts spilled over into other areas of my life, and the five coping strategies I used to navigate my way are intertwined throughout the book. The strategies were not premeditated, they were happenstance. I tried something, and if it helped dissipate the anger, I continued using it. Nature was my primary escape and it allowed me to forget, at least for a time, the ever present fear that consumed me as a child. At first it was a safe place, but overtime it became woven into my identity. Nature healed my psychological wounds and continues to be a guiding force in my life. This book is for anyone who has suffered abuse from a parent and hopefully my words will help readers heal from their own abusive experiences.